I toyed with the idea of cutting the countdown to ten this year, as there were some very lean months in the last 12. However, BCS isn't one to break with tradition, so I'm giving you a full 25. I think we'll agree the quality is down over years past, but hopefully the revived interest in the blog in the last six weeks, fueled exclusively by unadulterated hatred for Mark "Kockspray" Kotsay will give us better offerings in year 7. On to the countdown:
#25: We didn't hear much from SteveWoodardRules this year, but he found time to go hunting with Clay and Chuck in Week 2.
#24: Dear Mark: Using your right hand to hold the tennis racket may improve your chances of making contact, you fellater.
#23: ...He looks a bit constipated, no?
#22: The Cowboys realized they fucked up and sign Cullen Jenkins to play corner
#21: Betancourt, Kotsay, Wilson, Dillard, DiFelice, Counsell, and Kam Loe all ask Nieves to put in a good word for them
#20: Remember when my brother was too scared to talk to Ban Johnson's daughter?
#19: When Matthews isn't showering in the blood of his enemies, he enjoys a nice, cool Heineken bath
#18: James Harrison thinks Clay Matthews III is overrated. When was the last time Harrison clown raped some guy's heart?
#17: Aaaand this is our first picture with a penis
#16: Didn't think we'd actually get to a point where we'd miss Gomez, if only for his glove
#15: Why couldn't the SEALs have taken this asshole out instead?
#14: This guy here is dead
#13: If you Google Image search the phrase "They're still shitty", this picture is among the top 25 responses.
#12: Betancourt gets a breather
#11: For all of the inactivity in the last year, the blog did coin one very important phrase. "Clown Rape" will forever be associated with Clay Matthews' interactions with quarterbacks.
#10: For the uninitiated, the Win Probability Added (WPA) graph below indicates that Mark Kotsay has a small pecker.
#9: This is about as intellectual as we get around here. Take a theme from a freshman-level psych course, insert the greatest clown rapist in a generation, and voila, you've reached the top ten.
#8: Packers' defensive coordinator is known for his unconventional methods. This picture is just the first of several pieces of evidence.
#7: We discussed shuttering the blog a few months back. In reality, we'll stop doing the blog just as soon as penis jokes are no longer funny.
#6: Carlos Gomez experiments with some secret African recovery methods. While Albert Pujols favors HGH, Gomez appearas to favor fecal play. No surprise, given his approach at the plate.
#5: The only reason Romo isn't staring down the penis on his head is that he's trying to play hard to get.
#4: Like flies surrounding Urlacher's asshole.
#3: On reinforcing stereotypes: The ref is blatantly watching Austin push off but has done nothing to punish him.
#2: Is that an alpenhorn in your pants, or are you just BJ Raji. Alternatively: Penis jokes are really funny.
#1: There was really no contest this year. In fact, other than the arabs in the first countdown, there has never been such an uncontested #1 overall picture. It's got all the elements you ask for - shitty photoshopping, subtle hatred for the Brewers, racial observations, and, most importantly, a penis. Admit it, you laughed again when you scrolled down to this one. The very definition of a classic. Well done, Condy.
So, budding BCS artists, what does it take to make the top 25 countdown? I think the list is pretty simple
1. Penis humor
2. Doing really anything with Clay Matthews
3. Hating the Brewers
4. More dicks.
There you have it. Thanks to everybody for your contributions, and looking forward to advancing the cause of dick jokes in the next 12 months.
Labels: dick jokes, Top Pictures