Counsell Celebrates Recent Accomplishments, Prepares to Start Every Day at Second Base

I'm willing to give Melvin and Co. a little bit of leash on not having a great backup second baseman on the roster. After all, you don't anticipate Weeks to miss games. But what I can't give them any leash on is still having Counsell on the roster to give Roenicke the thought of playing him in Weeks's absence. Why is Counsell still in the Majors?

I've never been a huge critic of Counsell for various reasons, and I admit he's the best defensive infielder on the team. But there's just no way to excuse how bad he is offensively. Further, I don't think any athlete that goes out of his way to make a political statement, as the pinko, unionist Counsell did this offseason, deserves anything but relentless criticism and hate.

Please Brewers, stop doing things wrong. I beg you. Please cut Counsell. Please.

BCS 6th Birthday - Top 25 pictures of the last year

I toyed with the idea of cutting the countdown to ten this year, as there were some very lean months in the last 12. However, BCS isn't one to break with tradition, so I'm giving you a full 25. I think we'll agree the quality is down over years past, but hopefully the revived interest in the blog in the last six weeks, fueled exclusively by unadulterated hatred for Mark "Kockspray" Kotsay will give us better offerings in year 7. On to the countdown:

#25: We didn't hear much from SteveWoodardRules this year, but he found time to go hunting with Clay and Chuck in Week 2.

#24: Dear Mark: Using your right hand to hold the tennis racket may improve your chances of making contact, you fellater.

#23: ...He looks a bit constipated, no?

#22: The Cowboys realized they fucked up and sign Cullen Jenkins to play corner

#21: Betancourt, Kotsay, Wilson, Dillard, DiFelice, Counsell, and Kam Loe all ask Nieves to put in a good word for them

#20: Remember when my brother was too scared to talk to Ban Johnson's daughter?

#19: When Matthews isn't showering in the blood of his enemies, he enjoys a nice, cool Heineken bath

#18: James Harrison thinks Clay Matthews III is overrated. When was the last time Harrison clown raped some guy's heart?

#17: Aaaand this is our first picture with a penis

#16: Didn't think we'd actually get to a point where we'd miss Gomez, if only for his glove

#15: Why couldn't the SEALs have taken this asshole out instead?

#14: This guy here is dead

#13: If you Google Image search the phrase "They're still shitty", this picture is among the top 25 responses.

#12: Betancourt gets a breather

#11: For all of the inactivity in the last year, the blog did coin one very important phrase. "Clown Rape" will forever be associated with Clay Matthews' interactions with quarterbacks.

#10: For the uninitiated, the Win Probability Added (WPA) graph below indicates that Mark Kotsay has a small pecker.

#9: This is about as intellectual as we get around here. Take a theme from a freshman-level psych course, insert the greatest clown rapist in a generation, and voila, you've reached the top ten.

#8: Packers' defensive coordinator is known for his unconventional methods. This picture is just the first of several pieces of evidence.

#7: We discussed shuttering the blog a few months back. In reality, we'll stop doing the blog just as soon as penis jokes are no longer funny.

#6: Carlos Gomez experiments with some secret African recovery methods. While Albert Pujols favors HGH, Gomez appearas to favor fecal play. No surprise, given his approach at the plate.

#5: The only reason Romo isn't staring down the penis on his head is that he's trying to play hard to get.

#4: Like flies surrounding Urlacher's asshole.

#3: On reinforcing stereotypes: The ref is blatantly watching Austin push off but has done nothing to punish him.

#2: Is that an alpenhorn in your pants, or are you just BJ Raji. Alternatively: Penis jokes are really funny.

#1: There was really no contest this year. In fact, other than the arabs in the first countdown, there has never been such an uncontested #1 overall picture. It's got all the elements you ask for - shitty photoshopping, subtle hatred for the Brewers, racial observations, and, most importantly, a penis. Admit it, you laughed again when you scrolled down to this one. The very definition of a classic. Well done, Condy.

So, budding BCS artists, what does it take to make the top 25 countdown? I think the list is pretty simple

1. Penis humor

2. Doing really anything with Clay Matthews

3. Hating the Brewers

4. More dicks.

There you have it. Thanks to everybody for your contributions, and looking forward to advancing the cause of dick jokes in the next 12 months.

Brewers relievers "Concerned as Fuck" about Gomez's injury

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You...

No, not because an already shitty defense just got worse, but because it may have opened up the fourth spot in the Feces Four this coming October.

1,000 Words on Swagger...

Brewers acquire A-Rod

Former New York Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez (above) knocks his 6,000th career home run with the Brewers, his 5,374th with the team, obliterating Hank Aaron's record by roughly 4,500 for most home runs with one franchise.

AP (Milwaukee) - In something of a surprise move, the filthy rich New York Yankees traded surefire hall of fame third baseman and cash considerations to the Milwaukee Brewers for two PTBNLs. A surprising move given the Yankees >90% chance of making the playoffs this year, next year, and frankly, each of the remaining years on Rodriguez's contract. "We just really, really like Caleb Gindl," stated Yankees' General Manager Brian Cashman.

The Brewers, who, at press time, lacked the slightest financial wherewithal to pay for even a month of Rodriguez's contract, are nonetheless ecstatic to be replacing likely Hendy finalist and total shitbird Casey McGehee at third base. "Frankly, even if his knee injury holds him out until late September, we're better off with him than playing that shitbird McGehee all season!" exclaimed Brewers' skipper Ron Roenicke.

No word yet on how much of Rodriguez's contract the Yankees will be on the hook for, but early reports are stating that it's in the "pretty much fucking all of it" range. When reached for comment about the trade, Rodriguez made some passing comment about having to play next to the one shortstop that sucks more at defense than Jeter, returning to being fanned with a novelty feather by a topless Cameron Diaz.

No word yet on Brewers solutions at shortstop and in the bullpen, but given tonight's actions, the message is clear: the Brewers are willing to open their pocket books in this all-in season.

Probably Still Won't Get Me To Watch the ESPys...

But this is hillarious...

Kotsay to Critics: "You Done Hatin'?"

Armen Gilliam, Dead at 47

Mark Kotsay, miraculously still rostered.

Pujols back after two weeks

There couldn't possibly be an unnatural explanation for this, right?

Dillard: "You Cut Me?!"

Hat tip to anonymous poster who pointed out how much Dillard looks like Bug from Uncle Buck. Nice work.

Honestly, Dillard hasn't been bad, and he's plenty useful against righties. The Brewers are down to 11 pitchers, three of whom never will throw more than one inning (Askford, Saito and Hawkins) and one who won't be asked to (Loe). Braddock cannot be a lefty specialist because he's one of only two guys, the other being horrible (Estrada), who can throw more than an inning. This is a recipe for bullpen disaster if there are any hiccups in the rotation. Of course, this would be true if they weren't planning on calling up a pitcher very soon.

To me it's obvious that Gamel is going down to Triple-A tomorrow night and a pitcher will be called up. Again, Kotsay survives. That's the disgraceful thing here. We are right back where we started without a single good hitter on the bench and no one who can fill in on occasion for McGehee, whose career is falling at terminal velocity. Because Kotsay has contributed absolutely nothing this season and has survived all of these "difficult decisions," it's impossible to imagine a scenario where he is cut. I mean, what else can he do and what other options need to slap Doug Melvin in the face for him to realize the sunk cost on Kotsay?