2011 Hendies - The Feces Four
Casey McGehee
Franklin Division Champion
Wil Nieves
Bando Division Champion
Yuniesky Betancourt
Taylor Division Champion
Shaun Marcum
Per usual, we are going to vote in round robin format. Each finalist will face off against everyone else one time. If there's a tie, we go to the head-to-head results between the two players that are tied. If they're still tied like last year, we go to the usual "state your hate" tiebreaker.
Matchups:
McGehee v. Nieves
McGehee v. Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum
Nieves v. Betancourt
Nieves v. Marcum
Betancourt v. Marcum
Have fun and get some anger out!
Labels: dick jokes, Hendies, major league, Sperm, Terrible Photoshopping
posted by Condescendy @ 8:54 AM
17 comments
17 Comments:
Picasso of the Penis, you've done it again. I think you look forward to the feces four pictures more than Christmas (but not quite as much as Thanksgiving).
McGehee v. Nieves
Nieves
McGehee v. Betancourt
Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum
Marcum
Nieves v. Betancourt
Nieves
Nieves v. Marcum
Marcum
Betancourt v. Marcum
Marcum
Betancourt and McGehee were much worse during the regular season (as was Nieves, but he left so quickly he didn't make enough of a negative impact). However, neither of them jeopardized the Brewers' chances of making the World Series. McGehee was so terrible he was mercifully replaced by probably the second best player the Brewers had this postseason. Betancourt played much better than several regulars (Weeks, Hart, Morgan) with much more talent during the postseason. Marcum was reasons 1-3 that the Brewers did not make the World Series. His starts taxed the bullpen and dug deep holes for the Brewers. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive him if he had been hiding an injury. I'm still probably not going to forgive him. His performance was unforgivable. It's not really rational to hate a guy's entire season for three games, but this is an emotional tournament, and I hate his golden-shower-taking gumpface.
Also he cost us Brett Lawrie.
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McGehee v. Nieves- McGehee.
Played in 155 games... compared to Nieves' 20. Had as many errors as Nieves had games played. 546 at bats, only to go .223 with an OBP .280, and slugging a shitty .346 for a 5th hitter. It's not like we expected Nieves to be good, but we expected production from McGehee, and had to sit through a hurt Weeks throughout the playoffs try and struggle through at bats in the 5th spot.
McGehee v. Betancourt-Betancourt
As much as I just ranted about McGehee, Betancourt had the exact same stats across the board minus Avg. (He had a lower in OBP still). McGehee at least walked some, had a decent approach compared to Betancourt, who looked like a fat Bill Hall out there.
McGehee v. Marcum- Marcum
He almost single handedly cost us a trip to the World Series...'nough said.
Nieves v. Betancourt- Betancourt
Similar numbers to McGehee, except had more errors in fewer games than McGehee and played the entire postseason.
Nieves v. Marcum- Marcum
I still don't understand the uncontrollable hate for Nieves compared to the field.
Betancourt v. Marcum- Marcum
This was easily the hardest to vote for. I voted strictly based upon the fact that I have to watch Cardinals WS highlights for the next few months because he can't throw a fucking strike. Also, I agree with the Brett Lawrie argument.
McGehee v. Nieves
Nieves. Nieves can't hit a baseball, can't field a baseball, can't throw a baseball, can't fucking run, can't manage a baseball team, can't coach any particular baseball skill, can't coach a base, can't manage a clubhouse, can't supply his teammates with HGH, can't do shit. There is not a single reason in this world why he was on this team. McGehee had good 2009 and 2010 seasons. Nieves wins in a landslide.
McGehee v. Betancourt
Betancourt. Everything I said about Nieves is true here, except Betancourt hits a little better than Nieves. The result of that marginal ability? Over 500 at bats every year. Playing every postseason game. Brewers fans need to get over the batting average (which was .252 - still bad). You need to watch other baseball games. If you watched other baseball games instead of just Brewers games, you would appreciate how much of a piece of shit Betancourt is defensively. He cost the team countless runs with his range this year. And while I can normally swallow bad defense, I can't when: (1) he can't hit and (2) people think he's good at fielding. This baffles me. Ask 100 random Brewers fans, "how good is Betancourt defensively?" 2 would say great. 90 would say average to good. 8 would say below average to horrible. Fact: he's horrible, downright dreadful defensively. He's got the worst first step I've ever seen from a shortstop. He's one of the most out-of-shape shortstops I've ever seen. When you get into this rhelm of horrible players who fans somehow don't hate, you get feelings of Bill Hall going. Betancourt is by far the player I hate the most.
McGehee v. Marcum
Marcum. McGehee escapes again without a vote. McGehee took a ton of criticism this year, and he deserved it. But he also sat quietly all postseason on the bench. Marcum's good regular season was erased for me, but it wasn't because he gave up 55 runs in 2 innings against the Cardinals. No. It was because he threw his glove up in the air after giving up a HR against the DBacks. That's downright pathetic. Is he 4?
Nieves v. Betancourt
Betancourt. I talked about his defense not being called out for what it is other than by baseball nerds on the internet. As infuriating as that is, it's not even close to as bad as his plate approach. 3.16 pitches per plate appearance. Easily the worst in baseball this season. I fucking hate Yuniesky Betancourt. How he has gone this long in the majors and been so unsuccessful yet made no changes to his game is astonishing. He not only wins this Hendy IMO, he wins the 2012 Hendy if he so much as pinch runs in one April game next year before being cut or injured.
Nieves v. Marcum
Nieves. I can't say much more about Nieves. He's a joke. Marcum had a bad month pitching, but I hope he's on the team next year. That means I can't possibly hate him that much, right?
Betancourt v. Marcum
Betancourt. No contest. See above.
Don't we have a policy against anonymous votes? I don't even know who he voted for but we could just have somebody stuff the ballot anonymously for their guy until their guy wins.
We do, but I like the way he/she voted.
Nieves
Betancourt
McGehee
Betancourt
Nieves
Betancourt
I'll put a stop to the Marcum hate. Jimmy put it best, I actually want to see him start games next year, that immediately makes him better than the remaining individuals competing.
Yes, he may have cost the Brewers a shot at the World Series, but I think the Brewers would have limped into the postseason without his contributions this season. Can you imagine how much worse April would have been having to fill in starters for Greinke and Marcum?
This is Betancourt's year. Nieves got his due for being awful, but Yuniesky Betancourt is the reason this team didn't post the record the Phils did this year.
McGehee v. Nieves
McGehee. Turns out he played much more than Nieves, which is going to be his downfall. He had a worse OPS than Betancourt. He's still on the team next year. He's a fucking failure.
McGehee v. Betancourt
Betancourt. Very tough decision as both were by far the worst players on the team that played daily. Betancourt is just simply the more dreadful player. The fact that I just cannot overlook (and am appalled by) is the number of casual observers who think he is an "average to below-average" shortstop. That's nonsense. We didn't get to or win the World Series. 30 ABs of less than terrible doesn't do shit for me. He's the worst shortstop in the league, period. Fucking awful.
McGehee v. Marcum
McGehee. Not even close for me. Marcum was infuriating, and Condy stole the glove flip take that I also found beyond embarassing. He cost his team 2 playoff games. That's brutal, but not Casey "can't pull a fucking baseball" McGehee brutal. McGehee is yet another prime example of the garbage the Brewers have been running out to third base year after year. He may be the worst of them all, and they were counting on him to shoulder the vast majority of innings there. Marcum is a legitimate MLB player. McGehee certainly is not.
Nieves v. Betancourt
Betancourt. Not close.
Nieves v. Marcum
Marcum. A meltdown that bad deserves a vote.
Betancourt v. Marcum
Betancourt. In a just society, he would be put on a wooden door and whisked into the fucking Caribbean.
McGehee v. Nieves:
McGhehee
McGehee v. Betancourt:
Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum:
McGehee
Nieves v. Betancourt:
Betancourt
Nieves v. Marcum:
Marcum
Betancourt v. Marcum:
Betancourt
All of these turds are well -deserving of their place in the feces four, but I really think Betancourt deserves the Hendy. Nieves has miraculously continued to fool GMs and managers into giving him a job, but I think his charade is finally over. Marcum will leave a perpetual hole in my soul for his egregious playoffs "effort" and quite possibly my only chance to see the Brewers in the world series in my lifetime. But he was undoubtedly one of the reasons they won the division. "Disappointed" would be a better word to describe my feeling towards Marcum. Not "HATE"... Which brings me to McGehee. As much as we all never envisioned McGehee being a superstar, I don't think any of us could have predicted such a nosedive. He lost all signs of power this year (especially to RF, because we all knew he couldn't pull a baseball) which leads me to believe his scouting report was fairly simple. Once guys figured out how to pitch to this guy, he was helpless. His only saving grace in this tournament is the fact that he was bad enough to not play in October. So that leaves me with Betancourt, McGehee's partner on the left side of the infield. Together, these two made up one of the worst left sides I have ever witnessed. But Betancourt was much more infuriating than McGehee throughout the season. Yea, he played fairly well in the playoffs, but I can't recall him executing a situational or clutch a/b THE ENTIRE YEAR. Regardless of the situation, his plate approach never changed. And his pathetic twisting, flailing swing makes my bowels shake. Watching him play an entire season may have taken a few years off my life. I honestly won't be able to watch this team next year if he is the starting SS. Condy's comparison to Bill Hall is valid, though he forgot to mention their penchant for sex crimes. Just do us all a favor and find your way back to Cuba, Yuni.
The non-anonymous version:
McGehee v. Nieves:
Nieves
McGehee v. Betancourt:
Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum:
McGehee
Nieves v. Betancourt:
Betancourt
Nieves v. Marcum:
Nieves
Betancourt v. Marcum:
Betancourt
McGehee v. Nieves
McGehee
McGehee v. Betancourt
Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum
McGehee
Nieves v. Betancourt
Betancourt
Nieves v. Marcum
Marcum
Betancourt v. Marcum
Betancourt
These are all pretty easy for me. I just don't hate Wil Nieves that much. I hate the front office for allowing him to be on the team. I hate RR for playing him. But it's Wil Nieves. He's terrible and he was only on the team for a bit. I think it's pretty obvious why I hate Betancourt, McGehee, and Marcum. So there you have it.
By the way, are we just assuming the blog is always NSFW now? Thank God I didn't unleash this post on the work computer. Great pics.
It would be pretty awesome to have a bracket of all the matchups so we can appreciate the upsets and the underachievers. I'm too lazy to do this, but I don't suppose someone would like to volunteer to post a bracket each round? Something to think about for next year.
I wish we would have done a regular season and post season Hendies. There would be a clear line for Schlong Marcum then.
McGehee v. Nieves: McGehee
McGehee v. Betancourt: Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum: McGehee
Nieves v. Betancourt: Betancourt
Nieves v. Marcum: Marcum
Betancourt v. Marcum: Betancourt
Oh, and the post season Hendies would have actually been called the Suppans
McGehee v. Nieves: Mcgehee
McGehee v. Betancourt: Betancourt
McGehee v. Marcum: Mcgehee
Nieves v. Betancourt: Betancourt
Nieves v. Marcum: Marcum
Betancourt v. Marcum: Betancourt
It was a close call between Betancourt and Mcgehee, but as others stated, Mcgehee was ultimately benched. For some reason, everyone but RR and DM realize that Betancourt is garbage. Plenty of SS's were available at the trade deadline, instead DM stood firm and added Felipe Lopez.
Nieves was worthless, that much everyone knows. I think he is more representative of DM and his complete in ability to assembly a complete major league roster. Every year he signs players Nieves, and Kotsay, even though they're past their non-existent prime and better alternatives for the same price exist.
I defer to YoungHoss's comment on Marcum, I think he stated it perfectly.
This quickly turned into a blowout.
Has there ever been a wire-to-wire winner? Maybe Suppan 2?
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