Hi, I'm a Worthless Dick, The "Who Cares" Edition

What a shocker, folks. Jason Kendall takes his second HIAWDA award with a .590 OPS in September. He was hit 3 times, which I'm pretty sure set some kind of record, but unfortunately, none of the HBP were hard enough to end his career. Here's to another year littered with HIAWDA's in 2010 for Mr. Kendall.

Runners Up: Braden Looper: 6.15 ERA, 7 HR against, .345 AVG against
Corey Patterson (on team)

Ramming home a victory

The Pack won a game they where supposed to win

mainly through big plays

Driver made this absurd catch that requires no witty captions

A-rod was "impressing" the coaching staff with

all the plays he was making with his arm and his feet
And the defense continued to make big plays and Kamp got his first
sack as a linebacker

All and all the Pack played good enough to

handily beat a poor team. Now the Packers look to

a HUGE game in Minnesota. Talk about the victory against the Rams and the coming game here

Hi, I'm a Worthless Dick

It was bound to happen, but a penalty and some downright miserable special teams plays lands special teams captain Jarrett Bush his first HIAWDA in an otherwise impressive Packers win. The special teams gave up 187 kick return yards, for an average of 23.9 yards per return and a 42 yard return that took Crosby to stop. At least Thompson had the sense to pick up a free agent instead of playing him on defense. Runners up: Ryan Grant, Mason Crosby, Allen Barbre.

Rodgers Turns his Swag On as the BCS Crew Awaits the Triumphant Return of Steve Woodard

Packers v. Rams, September 27, 2009

Just when we couldn't get any more down about the Packers season, the Pack gets a much needed pick-me-up game against the Rams, the worst team in football over the past two years. Yes, worse than the Lions. You'll see on Sunday. I don't care that this is a road game and that the Packers figure to play 4 terrible players on the offensive line and secondary. The talent disparity is still staggering. The only thing you worry about when a team plays the Rams is that your team will look past the Rams game to the next week. Since the Packers spent last week looking past the Bengals to the Viqueens matchup in week 4, I don't think they'll make the same mistake again.

Weekend Gambler: September 26-27

We're getting on things early this week as I'm making picks for a Thursday night game. Current Tallies are Bub at 6-6 and Condescendy at 6-5 (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on USC and BYU).

Thursday, September 24

Mississippi @ South Carolina +3.5

Mississippi might be the most overrated team in the country, while South Carolina gets the benefit of a home field on a short week, 3.5 points, and tougher warmup games.

Friday, September 25

Missouri -7 @ Nevada

Nevada is godawful. They lost by 35 to Notre Dame and 15 at Colorado St. Missouri has actually looked decent so far, including a blowout of a BCS conference opponent.

Saturday, September 26

Wake Forest -2 @ Boston College

Boston College netted 54 total yards against their only BCS opponent this year, a middling Clemson team. They pounded two other opponents, but those opponents happen to be the absolute dregs of college football, Kent St. and Northeastern.

Sunday, September 27

Green Bay -6.5 @ St. Louis

St. Louis is worse than the Lions. I don't care how many eight year old girls are playing safety for the Packers, they just need to hold Stephen Jackson under 200 yards to win by three scores.

Tennessee +3 @ New York Jets

Everybody loves the Jets right now because they beat the Patriots, but they still have a rookie quarterback. The Titans struggle against the pass but excel against the run defensively. I also expect no fewer than two touchdowns of 40+ yards out of Chris Johnson.

San Francisco @ Minnesota -7

It pains me to say this, but Minnesota looks unstopable. Their first half offense is nothing special, but trying to tackle Adrian Peterson 35 times again is bound to wear any defense down.

Hi, I'm a Worthless Dick

Excuse Me, Worthless Bag of Dicks
6 allowed sacks for -39 yards, 89 total team rushing yards, 43 of which were courtesy of a scrambling Rodgers. Honorable mentions: Ryan Grant, Ed Hochuli.

Packers Fans React to Ochocinco



Shawne Merriman Lets out Frustration after Tough Loss and Lack of Faith from BCS Gamblers

MU Takes Another One in the Nuts

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/59728677.html

Sonofabitch

Weekend Gambler: September 19-20

Current Tally: Bub is 2-4, Condescendy is 4-2

Saturday, September 19
USC @ Washington +20
This is just incorrect. USC is starting a freshman quarterback against a team coached by its former offensive coordinator on the road. Jake Locker is a great QB for Washington and should show up the frosh for USC.

Florida St. @ BYU -7
Going back to the mormon well.

California @ Minnesota +20
Minnesota is opening its new stadium this weekend, that's gotta be worth at least a few points.

Sunday, September 20
Baltimore +3 @ San Diego
San Diego frankly didn't look that great against Oakland Monday night and LT is hurt. Baltimore's defense is outstanding and should give the Chargers problems all day.

Arizona @ Jacksonville -3
Arizona still sucks. No way this game would be even odds on a neutral field.

Cincinnati + 9.5 @ Green Bay
Cincinnati's defense is actually pretty good. 9.5 is just a lot of points for one team to be giving up.

Sorry To Interrupt the Packers, But This Is Absolutely Retarded.

Good God.

Swarm!!! Swarm!!!

I don't need to analyze the game last night (which if you don't know, most of us were at) because the Packers players already analyzed it so well themselves.

Key to Game #1 - Swarming: "That's what we want to do, have everybody doing something," [Ryan] Pickett said. "Sometimes we don't know where it's coming from on each play. Guys were swarming, making plays. That's what we're about now. We want the other team to feel like we're coming from all over, because we are."

Key to Game #2 - Swagger: "It did surprise me," Harris said. "This is [Cutler's] fourth year; you'd think he'd be better than that. I don't know what he was thinking, what was going through his mind. The pressure got to him."

Because he's in Cleveland, I'm not expecting a post from Steve on this one. Steve should most certainly post if he finds the time, even if it isn't until later in the week. I'm still riding high and couldn't resist.

Hi, I'm a Worthless Dick.

I gave up 2 sacks for a combined 15 lost yards, and despite my "revolving door" blocking strategy last night, Aaron Rodgers was still thankfully able to complete more passes to Packers players than Jay Cutler.

Bear Blasting

Welcome to another season of NFL Football

For Week 1 the Packers play the Chicago Bears

I predict a comfortable Packers Victory and here is why

On offence Rodgers leads a potent unit with his moustache up front, Grant should have a big day but its going to be Rodgers, his facial hair and Co slicing up a depleted and unproven Bears secondary that will carry the day

As for the Packers Defence this is going to be a new challenge from the Bears

A real NFL quarterback!

Cutler is going to make a HUGE difference for the Bears for this year and the future

and yes, aside from Olsen he really doesn't have any competent receivers but he will make the guys he has a lot better....... If he can stay off his back. I was worried about the Packers using too much of their 3-4 scheme in the preseason but apparently they only showed about a third of the playbook. On Sunday night you are going to see some beautiful blitzes and most of them will be targeted on the left side against Aging tackle Orlando Pace. Pace looked awful against Elvis Dumervil in Denver and Dumervil couldn't hold Kamp's jockstrap. Expect pain for Jay's first game. Also look for Woodson to cover Olsen when he isn't making plays and shaking hands.

Discuss the coming matchup and general Packers discussion here

Fearless Football Predictions '09

After a several year hiatus, I'm resurrecting this segment at the request of Condescendy. I've selected three games this weekend for which I like the betting lines. I will conduct this slightly differently than in years past as I will be picking either the Notre Dame game or the Green Bay game, but not both. I believe attempting to pick both had a negative impact on my record in the past. Here are the picks, along with brief justifications:

1. Florida International @ Alabama -34

Well no shit Alabama is going to win the game. However, Florida International was the only team in FBS that didn't play a game last weekend. For a college team to be a week behind, on the road, against a dominantly superior opponent is a death sentence. Lock of the weekend right here.

2. BYU @ Tulane +17.5

The old adage goes 'you're never as good as your last victory or as bad as your last loss'. BYU picked up a huge victory against Oklahoma to be sure, but gamblers tend to have short memories and bet based solely on the most recent performance, especially high-profile national upsets. Hangover effect is a factor as well. The one fact that concerns me here is that mormons don't gamble, and as a result, there isn't any home team bias being priced in on the Cougars' side.

3. Pittsburgh @ Buffalo +10.5

When in doubt, take the points. I'm not really in doubt, but I like what Turner Gill has done at Buffalo and I like getting double-digit points at home.

NFL

1. Chicago @ Green Bay -3.5

Obviously.

2. Redskins @ Giants -6.5

The Redskins are terrible, more terrible than people realize. Jason Campbell just isn't a good NFL quarterback.

3. San Francisco +6 @ Arizona

The lone road team I picked this weekend. Arizona struggled mightily in the preseason and may have to fight a superbowl hangover this year. I know little about San Francisco, but I think this is just a suckers' line.

Packers coaches: Don't be fooled by my winning smile...I'm going to murder you all.

Hi, I'm a Worthless Dick, AND a Crybaby!

I don't really need to say much. Although he only had 21 ABs in August with the big club, Va-Jay-Jay Hardy takes home the HIAWDA. Hardy hit .228 in June and July, with an astouding .272 OBP before hitting rock-bottom in August. Not only did he get demoted; he managed to piss off the front office to the point where he was not called up for over 20 days, thus making him inelligible for free agency until the end of the 2011 season. Will it add to his trade value when they ship his ass out of town this offseason? I suppose it will, but don't expect it to help the Brewers all that much. By hitting like Neifi Perez and acting like a spoiled little bitch, JJ Hardy has punched his ticket out of town.