Buenas Dias, Soy un Dick de Ningun Valor

Way to pull away for your first HIAWDA, Mr. Villanueva. For July: 0-4, 12.1 IP, 15 runs, 5HR, 10.95 ERA, 2.19 WHIP, .375 BAA. Just in case you're not convinced with the small sample, hitters hit .353 against him in June. Way to encapture the true spirit of a worthless dick.

Hall optioned to AAA, Suppan to the DL

Baseball Prospectus gives Brewers 137% chance of making the playoffs in 2009.

Sell!

We interrupt this regularly scheduled picture countdown to bring you a special BCS report:

People who pitch like people:

Brew City Sports' Fourth Birthday - The Pictures (15-1)

I've decided to include the top fifteen all in one post. Doing five at a time has disrupted normal discussion patterns, and to be honest, it's easier for me to do at once. I'm also keeping most of the original captions, not because I'm lazy (I am) but because the original author did a better job than I could have.

15. Marquette recruits really, really light skinned black kid

14. As though the picture wasn't an obvious photoshop on its own, SteveWoodardRules was kind enough to forgo capturing the last 22% of Hoffman's head, revealing his grizzled Clint Eastwood insides.

13. Fucking play me you communist!


12. Opponents Beware

11. I have a sneaking suspicion we'll be seeing a replica of this picture somewhere on next year's countdown.


10. After months of meeting with political campaign consultants, Corey Hart's 'elect Bill Hall' team came up with this gem, executing their strategy to perfection. Hart was bounced early in the voting while Hall went on to take the pink.


9. Son, it's time to stop now. Seriously, Brett, listen to your deceased father's severed head and fucking decide you pansy.


8. I like that the text here was written in pink, because Ned Yost is a fucking anti-American pinko commie.



7. I tried to hide this one in the middle so you could scroll past as quickly as possible.

6. Sveum hires old friend "Fred Shost" as special assistant.


5. SteveWoodardRules bucks the trend of scaling down players arms to fit them in pictures by magnifying Captain Neckbeard PipecleanerArm's tenfold so it could be visible to the naked eye.


4. The judges would have also accepted "so this is the page in the conventional managers guide where we walk the home run champ even though our pitcher has great splits against batters of his handedness and turrible splits against the next four players"


3. Local wind turbine Dale Sveum gives white-girl-legs-and-flippie floppies Mike Cameron the sign on a sac fly to short.

2. About as ambiguous as Clay Aiken


1. All the true legends have that moment of pure genius that hits on many levels in both breadth and depth. Michael Jackson had about 17 number 1's on Thriller. Michaelangelo had the Sistene Chapel and David. And the 2003 Marlins had Steve Bartman and Alex Gonzalez. SteveWoodardRules' Bears post from October 08 was the single greatest collection of photos from one contributor we've ever witnessed, highlighted, naturally, by whatever the fuck is going on below. Nobody's quite sure where SteveWoodardRules gets his inspiration, but I'm pretty certain all those years wearing a magnetic helmet sleeping under power lines may have played a role. Kudos, SWR, this was a true epic.

Brew City Sports' Fourth Birthday - The Pictures (20-16)

20. Notice how close the walls are to home plate. Jeff Suppan's fastball creates this illusion to fans as hitters couldn't possibly be otherwise strong enough to clear the fences with such ease.

19. Yup.

18. Seth McClung unleashes his Irish temper on recent Brewers' signing Braden Looper.

17. Sadly, this Rock spent only a year in Titletown (unlike the other Rock Wisconsin sports fans have been stuck with, who's harder to get rid of than herpes). In his short time here, though, he was able to capture the hearts and minds of at least four bloggers here at BCS through his mild manner and frightening old man strength.

16. This post was our first linked to another blog in nearly two years, mostly because it was our first work in two years that wasn't outrageously offensive.

Brew City Sports' Fourth Birthday - The pictures (25-21)

As promised, we will begin the annual picture countdown to celebrate the blog's fourth birthday. Almost all of the pictures were edited in some fashion, some painstaking, others rudimentary, by the starving artists here at BCS. In almost none of the instances does the humor demonstrate even a hint of maturity, and for that we are all grateful. Now, for the pictures:

25. Nothing is quite as simple as drawing four yellow lines. Well, other than counting three outs in an inning.

24. In classic BCS fashion, we have over-glorification, incomplete photo editing, and Cub-bashing, both literal and figurative

23. In classic BCS fashion, we take a prior concept to new heights. Here we've got Marquette's own "Four horsemen". In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction, and death. These are only aliases. Their real names are the impregnator, the penetrator, vag the impaler, and the black Ron Jeremy.

22. Condescendy starts a new blog-wide trend of scaling down players' biceps in an attempt to actually fit them in a picture.



21. This is not actually one of the 25 best pictures of the last year, but it is commemorative of a great day blown at work, and indicative of the blog's position on modern race relations.

Brewers trade Cole Gillespie and Roque Mercedes for Felipe Lopez, Bill Hall gets acquainted with his new surroundings

The Meat of Switching to the 3 - 4

MMMMMM Football

As you may have heard the Packers are switching to the 3 - 4 defence

The biggest part of the switch is finding players that fit in the new look front 7

Last time I heard these "meatballs" are the starters heading into training camp.

Other players who will definately be in the mix for a starting postion are

NT/DE Ryan Pickett

DE Justin Harrel

OLB Brady Popinga

OLB Jeremy Tompson

OLB/ILB Brandon Chillar

Discuss the transition to the 3 - 4 and the Packers offseason heading into training camp here

Added because BCB is a racist:
One of these men is Bradley Cooper, (Phil from the Hangover and Sack from Wedding Crashers), and one of these men is Aaron Kampman, the most dominating pass rusher since Reggie White. Scientists* are working round the clock to determine which is which. I'm 100% certain this has already been beaten to death by local media, but what the fuck, I don't live in Milwaukee any more, so I don't know any better.

* - By scientists we mean the Klan.

All-Whitest Team

At the risk of overshadowing the HIAWDA . . .

This is the only picture on the public domain where Olerud is wearing a hat instead of a helmet.

We've done this before. We all remember the All-Fat Team and All-Morbidly Obese Team. This time around, we're looking for the all white team. Sure, there have been tens of thousands of white baseball players. Forming a team of white baseball players is obviously not what we're talking about here. No. We're looking for the whitest baseball players. Obviously, there are different levels of white. So, we are trying to get a full 25-man roster of the whitest of the white baseball players.

"Tony Gwynn?" No, chucklehead. This is serious. Here are some factors we will consider in no particular order:

1) Skin tone.

2) Wearing a batting helmet in the field.

3) Wearing goggles.

4) Acne.

5) Mullets.

6) A clean image (no drug use, no philandering, etc.).

7) Awkwardness.

8) A complete lack of natural talent (speed, throwing arm, power).

9) A complete lack of swagger and urban dialogue.

10) A very white name (Southern, Polish, otherwise Eastern European or British).

11) A love of fishing, hunting and/or ice sports.

Using these above criteria, here is a list of some of the players that are on the team:

C Ron Karkovice

1B John Olerud

1B Kent Hrbek

2B Craig Counsell

SS David Eckstein

SS Walt Weiss

3B Gary Gaetti

3B Chris Sabo

IF/UTIL Rance Mulliniks

DH Wally Joyner

OF Dan Gladden

SP Mark Gubicza

Who else do we want added? This is just a sample list, so we can take someone off if he is undeserving of the honor. And who would we say is the most white player of all time?

Please remember to consider all the factors above. While Randy Johnson is awkward as shit, has a mullet, is incredibly white and has acne, you must remember that he has a ton of natural talent, a generic name and didn't wear goggles, glasses or a batting helmet in the field.

Let's have fun!

Hi, I'm a Worthless Dick.

Folks, we are entering uncharted territory. For only the second time in HIAWDA history, we have a back-to-back winner. Yes, that's right, Bill Hall has captured his second consecutive HIAWDA award after OPSing an impressive .414 in the month of June in 47 ABs. I have to take my hat off to Mr. Hall - he managed to collect 7 hits this month, which is a full 6 more than I believed him capable of achieving. Congratulations on this special honor, Bill.

And yes, pictured above is Bill Hall congratulating Bill Hall on his second straight award. Nice to see him pass the torch to the lucky recipient: himself.

Props to Brew City Bub on the idea for the photo art. Well done, sir.