Holy Fucking Shit! Brewers land Luis Cruz!

Cruz, above, appears poised at the steps of a Hall of . . . oh fuck it, I can't do it. This guy is terrible. He's walked 171 times in 3713 career minor league PAs. His career major league slg% is .248. And a link to Luis Cruz - White Pages is a better match on Google than his Baseball Reference Page.

Say hello to your new utility infielder, Milwaukee! Just as talented as his hombre Enrique!