Let the hate begin!
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra
(8) M. Stetter
(5) D. Weathers
(4) D. Riske
(3) C. Duffy
(6) M. Rivera
(7) J. Axford
(2) B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall
(8) A. Escobar
(5) H. Iribarren
(4) Jo. Butler (Josh, not Jimmy)
(3) B. Looper
(6) C. Villanueva
(7) F. Cattalanotto
(2) J. Suppan
BANDO DIVISION
(1) D. Bush
(8) C. Hart
(5) J. Gerut
(4) J. Kendall
(3) T. Dillard
(6) C. Corporan
(7) S. McClung
(2) M. Burns
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle
(8) C. Narveson
(5) J. Colome
(4) J. Bourgeois
(3) C. Patterson
(6) J. J. Hardy
(7) M. Gamel
(2) J. Julio
The rules are the same. Vote for the guy who upsets you to the core more. The guy who just bothers you. The guy who gets your goat. The jerk you don't like. You get the point. We wait to tally final votes until there is a lull in voting and/or it appears no one else will be voting. In the event of a tie, we go to a one-day argument period, where we debate the merits of the competitors. There is no reason to go further than this. Usually someone blows the crowd away with one argument. If we really reach an impasse, the better seeded player (lower number) wins. The winner of the Taylor Division plays the winner of the Lopes Division, and the winner of the Yost Division plays the winner of the Bando Division. Anyone who wants me to send them the spreadsheet of seeds, just send me an email request.
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42 comments:
Oh, in case you missed it, the top 13 players were exempt from the Hendies this year.
And, don't forget to vote in the Postseason Awards and playoff challenge, below.
Taylor Division:
(1) Parra
(4) Riske
(3) Duffy
(2) Nelson
Lopes Division:
(1) Hall
(5) Iribarren
(3) Looper - shit, this was really fucking tough. Villanueva is a garbage-baller who was trying to close games for awhile. Are you kidding me?
(2) Suppan
Bando Division:
(1) Bush - it's a shame one of these guys has to go home. Look, Hart is a shitbag and Bush was injured. But I'm sorry, a 6.38 ERA is a six-point-fucking-three-eight ERA. It doesn't help that someone on this blog (who shall remain nameless) argued in May that Bush was better than Jonathan Lester.
(4) Kendall - damn. Again, someone is going home way too early.
(3) Dillard
(2) Burns
Yost Division:
(8) Narveson - Swindle was awful but damn he was funny. Narveson gets this vote for being so damn successful, which he'll never do again.
(4) Bourgeois
(3) Patterson - are you kidding me!? One of these guys won't make it to the second round?!!
(2) Julio
There are some absolutely amazing first round matchups. This is not going to be your typical Hendy year. There are not a lot of sweeps this year. Let's have fun!
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra - Eats shit
(4) D. Riske - Cock tickler chinhair
(3) C. Duffy - White Corey Patteron
(2) B. Nelson - Has vagina
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall - Jim Abbott was better on offense
(4) Jo. Butler - not Jimmy Butler
(3) B. Looper - Cocks in his pooper
(2) J. Suppan - High priced prostitute, does not put out
BANDO DIVISION
(1) D. Bush - Not actually better than Jon Lester
(4) J. Kendall - Invented scurvy
(6) C. Corporan - below average at baseball
(2) M. Burns - Not a firecrotch
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle - Eats own post-coital vomit
(4) J. Bourgeois - Still don't know his first name
(3) C. Patterson - Black Chris Duffy
(2) J. Julio - Bottom prospect
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra
(4) D. Riske
(3) C. Duffy
(2) B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall
(5) H. Iribarren
(3) B. Looper
(2) J. Suppan
BANDO DIVISION
(8) C. Hart
(4) J. Kendall
(3) T. Dillard
(2) M. Burns
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle
(5) J. Colome
(3) C. Patterson
(2) J. Julio
Taylor
1. Parra
5. Weathers
3. Duffy
2. Nelson
Lopes
1. Hall
5. Iribarren
6. Villanueva
2. Suppan
Bando
1. Bush
4. Kendall (you've gotta be fucking kidding me with this match-up)
3. Dillard
2. Burns
Yost
1. Swindle
4. Bourgeois
6. Hardy
2. Julio
A heads up to anybody interested in voting below - I'm closing the voting tonight as it seems most of the regulars have already voted. In the event that nobody else votes, we do have one tie, which will be settled, obviously, by a hate-off.
HENDIES
Finally
I'll vote later today. That is all.
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra
(5) D. Weathers
(3) C. Duffy
(2) B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall
(4) Jo. Butler
(6) C. Villanueva
(2) J. Suppan
BANDO DIVISION
(8) C. Hart
(4) J. Kendall
(6) C. Corporan
(2) M. Burns
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle
(5) J. Colome
(6) J.J. Hardy
(7) M. Gamel
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra - landslide victory for the worst pitcher in baseball this year and powerhouse Hendy candidate.
(4) D. Riske - I thought it was a solid signing at the time. I was wrong. Riske is little bitch.
(3) C. Duffy - what a horrible fucking player.
(2) B. Nelson - did not make the most of his opportunity. In fact, gargled balls. Should never be on a major league roster, but that doesn't mean he can't get himself some hardware.
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall - only plausible explanation is that he has raging herpes. Will he repeat? So much hardware of suck and looking to add more.
(4) Iribarren - reminds me of Lou Collier with less speed and power.
(3) B. Looper - First really close matchup, but this chickenfucker beats out the Latina, relief pitching version of himself. Fucking gopherball shitstain pitcher.
(2) J. Suppan - Old semen face Poop Soup beats out the Bloomquistian powerlesshouse Little Cat. Just too much shitsucking power from our favorite pitcher.
BANDO DIVISION
(1) C. Hart - Second great matchup. Look, Dave Bush couldn't pitch a shamwow this year (those things fucking sell themselves!) But Corey Hart is a terrible baseball player, and an even worse spreader of VD.
(4) J. Kendall - Certain players in the Hendy's literally give me dry heaves and smelly diarrhea in the voting booth. Kendall is one.
(6) T. Dillard - how fucking naive to think this guy could fill in competently in a bullpen role. He's useless.
(2) M. Burns - McClung showed who he really is. Burns showed who he really is. Burns gives me burny butt just a little bit more and he never dominated the Cubs in Late September.
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle - After all the condescension when Narveson was called up..."oh great, we called up Chris 'Cock in my Hand' Narveson, or "Sweet, Narveson couldn't pitch to my non-existent little leaguer son but is now in our bullpen," or my favorite, "Yay, Chris Narbinton will provide stability to a much maligned bullpen..." the truth is, he was our second best starting pitcher. Swindle was a fucking circus act, and not the cool lion taming act; more like the bearded lady arm wrestles Gary Coleman act.(4) J. Bourgeois - Glorified Corey Patterson with a stupid fucking name. Booooshwaa sounds like a sloppy orgasm.
(3) C. Patterson - Unbelievable that VaJayJay Hardy runs into this juggernaut in round 1. Consider yourself fucking jobbed, Hardy. I have not disliked a Brewer more since Marquis Grissom.
(2) J. Julio - We could damn near rename this thing the Julios. Hilarious last appearance will carry him deep in this tourni.
Would you fucking assholes please stop voting for Patterson?
The team was already shitty by the time Patterson got here, but after the pitching, an injury-free Hardy shitting his pants each day on the field is the next closest reason why this team finished under .500. By September, Hardy had more quit in him than Gary Sheffield.
Do I have to pull up Hardy's AAA numbers to convince otherwise or should I just collect up a nice smattering of Condy's posts from a year ago that do nothing but feltch Va JJ?
Taylor:
Parra
Weathers
Duffy
Nelson
Lopes:
Hall
Iribarren
Villanueva
Suppan
Brando:
Bush
Kendall
Dillard
Burns
Yost:
Swindle
Bourgeois
Hardy
Julio
Good to see KL here. On to my ballot.
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra
(4) D. Riske
(3) C. Duffy
(2) B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall - He's gonna win, and we all know it.
(4) Jo. Butler - Who?
(3) B. Looper - I just hit a dinger whilst typing this. And I batted .012 in 7th & 8th grade.
(2) J. Suppan - Again, I apologize for not ending his career at Subway in Mequon last January(early Feb?). Sorry guys.
BANDO DIVISION
(8) C. Hart - My Man crush is over
(5) J. Gerut - No comment
(6) C. Corporan - I literally flipped a coin here
(2) M. Burns - Son Of Clung shouldn't even be here
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle
(5) J. Colome
(3) C. Patterson - Still mind bottling*
(2) J. Julio - Pretty sure he walked me twice in 1 at bat
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra
(5) D. Weathers
(6) M. Rivera
(2) B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall
(4) Jo. Butler (Josh, not Jimmy)
(6) C. Villanueva
(2) J. Suppan
BANDO DIVISION
(1) D. Bush
(4) J. Kendall
(3) T. Dillard
(2) M. Burns
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle
(4) J. Bourgeois
(3) C. Patterson
(2) J. Julio
BubsBrother:
Enough already with your proselytizing. The Hendies are not governed by reason or by logic. In fact, we often encourage illogical hate. Did Hardy get jobbed by the committee? Perhaps. But like the [real]BCS, we here at BCS use a concrete formula to calculate the seeding (no really, we do. Ask Condy. I think it's VORP but it may be WAR. Either way, it's science).
"Would you fucking assholes please stop voting for Patterson?"
Would you stop being a ratard? The presence of Patterson alone is a reason to keep him moving along in the Hendies.
Like You've got any room to talk
Anonymous, we ask that you identify yourself so we know it's not some Brewers player coming on here to vote against themselves. Brewers players cannot vote.
Or, perhaps worse, someone on here trying to vote twice. We don't want that.
I'm not going to address the Corey Patterson issue now because it's clear he's going to destroy VaJJ Hardy and I don't want to waste a good argument for him in the event a tie comes up later. Though I must admit, the best argument I can imagine for him is still "it's Corey Fucking Patterson."
We used VORP as of Saturday night when I completed the seedings. Yes, Hardy got screwed, but it is governed by BCS law, not reason. Hardy was worth exactly 0.0 this year. He was the precise definition of replacement player. If you think he got screwed, what if Dave Bush ends up losing in the first round?! He had a fucking 6.38 ERA and was worse than all but maybe 3 pitchers in the entire NL!
BCS: Read my post again.
Although I complained about the pairings to the Bub in private, nothing here complains about using VORP to match players.
The point of the Hendies is to express hatred, however justified or unjustified it is. I did just that. I'm yelling at you fucks for voting for Patterson, not for pairing the two in the first round.
I'm assuming your raging faggot boners for Hardy are the reason for the Patterson votes...
shit, I almost missed the first round. Even if the voting has officially closed, my picks are as follows (keep in mind I moved to Minnesota at the end of August, sparing me from watching this team in September)
TAYLOR:
(1) Parra - his mental make up leaves much to be desired
(4) Riske - who gives a shit about weathers anyways, he was thrown into the mix long after the team was relevant
(3) Duffy - RIvera is all that is hombre. Duffy is all that is uninteresting
(2) Nelson (who is Axford?)
LOPES:
(1) The defending champ
(5) Hurricane (shitstorm) Iribarren
(3) Looper
(2) Suppan
BANDO:
(8) Hart-break kid
(4) Kendall - give him the hardware now
(3) Dillard (didn't see Corporan)
(7) McClung
YOST:
(1) Swindle (did he have a hilarious September? Did I miss something?)
(5) Colome - no reason behind it
(6) Hardy - what a dick choke
(2) Julio - I may never forget that inning in Florida
I'm so ridiculously bored that I'm going to vote, though I didn't watch but maybe a quarter of the Brewers games this year.
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1)Parra
(5)Weathers
(3)Duffy
(2)Nelson
LOPES DIVISION:
(1)Hall - what a yutz
(5)Iribarren
(6)Villanueva - he got my fantasy team off to a wonderful start :-p
(2)Suppan
BANDO DIVISION:
(1)Bush
(4)Kendall
(6)Corporan
(2)Burns
YOST DIVISION:
(1)Narveson
(5)Colome
(3)Fudge Patterson
(2)George Julio
Holy shit I almost missed this...
Taylor
Parra
Riske
Duffy
Nelson
Lopes
Hall
Iribarren
Looper
Suppan
Bando
Bush
Kendall
Dillard
Burns
Yost
Swindle
Colome
Hardy
Julio
I'm hoping that a pitcher can pull out the Hendy award this year. That being said, I had to vote for VaJJ Hardy... what a bag of dicks.
I too almost missed this. The marketing department really needs to clean up its act.
TAYLOR DIVISION:
(1) M. Parra
(5) D. Weathers
(3) C. Duffy
(2) B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
(1) B. Hall
(4) Jo. Butler
(3) B. Looper
(2) J. Suppan
BANDO DIVISION
(1) D. Bush
(4) J. Kendall
(3) T. Dillard
(2) M. Burns
YOST DIVISION
(1) R.J. Swindle
(4) J. Bourgeois
(6) J. J. Hardy
(2) J. Julio
No real surprises here. How can you not vote for RJ Swindle? I faced more talented pitchers in little league.
TAYLOR DIVISION
Manny Parra- Shoulder surgery will not fix your shitting pitching performances
Riske- Riske gets the nod because my hate for him last year has not yet simmered. I wonder if taking a year off will make his 88 mph fastball slower? Or maybe his "slider" hang even more. Some shave the pubes off of his chin for fucks sake.
Duffy- Who cares
Axford- I will never vote against Big Bad Brad. Watch out for Brad to take on the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating competition next year.
LOPES DIVISION
Hall- Where to begin??? Maybe your dreadful batting average should be enough? Nope! How bout the fact that you actually did something in Seattle when you left? Nope! The fact that we still have to pay you a shit load??? Nope! The real reason is because Hall whines more than a baby who's mom just put a lock on her boobs. Also, I can't rant on 102.1 about how Bill Hall is ruining my life. Fuck you Bill Hall
Iribarren- Does he still play baseball, or just sit on the bench with his thumb up his ass
Looper- See Jeff Suppan from last year's Feces Four
Suppan- See Looper
BANDO
Hart- The big upset of the round goes to HBK (Homosexual ball kisser). Not only did his appendix explode like a douche, he was the most worthless hitter ever. He ruined 2 of my fantasy teams.
Kendall- C ya!
Dillard- who cares
McClung- I can't stand that ginger
YOST
Swindle- Wow, his 50 mph curveball couldnt save him from this round. Swindle, go throw 30 mph and we'll talk later
Colome- who cares
Hardy- Harts boyfriend will fittingly join him in the next round. Hardy may have been the worst player on the Brewers, and possibly in the MLB. I would be happy to get a couple candy bars for Prince Fielder and a nasty prostitute for Braun in a trade for Hardy.
Julio- Remember Derrick Turnbow???
I don't like people being persuaded to vote for Hardy. Folks need to realize that seeing Corey Patterson don a Brewers uniform AND HIT LEADOFF several time was the culmination of a disastrous season. That was the ultimate "fuck you" by Brewers management and a glaring symbol of just how shitty things got. To me, it's a permanent black eye and an irreversible death wish for the franchise. I can't explain it any better than that.
It's Corey fucking Patterson. Don't worry, I have plenty more in the event that there's a tie. I may even post career major league numbers if the blog doesn't sensor them first.
Here's my votes:
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
COREY PATTERSON
And of course, COREY PATTERSON.
As voting winds down here in round one, it's looking like Corey Patterson has taken an insurmountable, insuperable lead.
Taylor Division:
1 Parra - What a terrible mentally incapable pitcher. Parra did no good this year. Stetter actually did way better than last year.
5 Weathers - Sorry, Stormy, but you sucked a lot of ass. Not even your hilarious father/son magnet can save you this year.
3 Duffy
2 Nelson - I could have gotten more pinch hits.
Lopes Division:
1 Hall - Does this need description?
4 Jimmy Butler
3 Looper - What can you really expect out of Chuckles? Lopper makes me think of Suppan and that makes me angry.
2 Suppan - I DO NOT like Cattalanotto, but Suppan has ruined too many days of my life to not win the whole f*ing thing.
Bando Division:
8 Hart - We all knew how much Bush sucked and still sucks going into this season. Hart should have done better.
5 Gerut - How could I vote for my hero, Kendall ;)
3 Dullard
7 McClung
Yost Division:
1 Swindle
4 Bourgeois - French people suck.
6 Hardy - OK, the mere fact that Corey Patterson was on the Brewers angers me. That's more of a ding on the management though for even bringing this fool aboard. I cannot forgive Hardy for being entirely useless this whole season.
2 Julio
OldHossRadbourn said...
Hey guys, thought I'd vote for the first time. Whew! Almost missed it.
TAYLOR DIVISION:
M. Parra
D. Riske
C. Duffy
B. Nelson
LOPES DIVISION
B. Hall
Iribarren
B. Looper
J. Suppan
BANDO DIVISION
D. Bush
J. Kendall
T. Dillard
M. Burns
YOST DIVISION
R.J. Swindle
J. Bourgeois
PATTERSON
J. Julio
Hahaha. Derrick T, if you're going to copy all of OHR's votes, at least don't leave the "OldHossRadbourn said..." at the top of your post. OHR, if that was intentional, that is hilarious.
It was intentional. I really feel like cheating but I will refrain. Intentional so as not to be confused with a real vote (as if it had any chance anyway).
It looks as though my Hardy campaigning has shown some success! Patterson: 7 and Hardy: 8 by my count (if we're counting "anonymous").
If we're counting anonymous, we're counting Derrick T.
First time posting,sure as hell hope you know me by the name, but I guess I had to for fear of my favortite to win losing out.
*= favorite to win
Parra
Riske
Nelson
Hall
Iribarren
Villanueva
Suppan
Bush
Kendall
Dillard
Burns
Swindle
Bourgeois
JJ*
Julio
This pisses me off. I didn't want to have to do this:
Patterson Stats
Notice. 15 plate appearances. 1 time on base. 7 strikeouts. The best part: his only time on base the whole season, he was caught stealing. The saddest part: this was the best season of his career. It will be 40 years from now, and you'll be trying to defend your favorite team, the Portland Brewers, and the person you'll be talking to will laugh and ridicule your life because the organization you support employed Corey Patterson in 2009. That person won't even know who VaJJ Hardy is.
Wake up, people!
Recruit, Riebe!
Taylor:
Parra
Riske
Rivera
Nelson
Lopes:
Hall
Butler
Looper
Suppan
Brando:
Swindle
Colome
Gay Gay
Julio
Whoops, switch my Brando with Yost:
Bush
Kendall
Dillard
Burns
Looks like we're just about done with voting. We'll cut off voting and tally the results at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow (Sunday).
Taylor division:
1) Parra
4) Riske
3) Duffy
2) Nelson
Lopes Division
1) Balls
5) Iribarren
6) Villanueva
2) Suppan
Bando division
1) Bush
5) Gerut
3) Dillard
2) Burns
Yost division
1) Swindle
5) Colome
3) Patterson
2) Julio
I'm alive?
The following votes will not be counted:
DERRICK T - clearly a double vote
Anonymous - long standing BCS rule that one must identify himself for his votes to count.
We have an odd number of votes, so there will be no hate-off in this round. I will post the second round matchups tonight.
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