2008 Hendy Award Winner - Bill Hall

It's been a long time coming. I'm very proud to announce that the Third Annual Hendy Award Winner is Bill Hall. Hall will likely return strong next year as a strong favorite to repeat. His current odds to repeat are 1:2.

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to vote in another very successful hate-off.

Buzz Recruits Really, Really Light-Skinned Black Kid

MU got a commitment today from an extremely light skinned black kid, a 6-9 PF from Pennsylvania named Brett Roseboro. Now, we all know that Buzz Williams is extremely astute in that he refuses to recruit white baskeball players to play in the Big East. But man, these black guys are getting lighter and lighter.

Some of the Juggernaut schools that were sweet on Roseboro:

The one and only Quinnipiac, Rider, Maine, St. Francis, and Kansas State (the only semi-real school)

What the fuck is this all about? This kid looks more like Buzz Harangody than Luke Harangody.

**sorry I bumped the Feces 4 down a bit - DON'T FORGET TO VOTE

2008 Hendy Awards: The Feces Four

It's the moment you've all been waiting for - the Feces Four. After two weeks of hatred spewed in every direction, we're down to four combatants at which we can direct our anger. Here are our finalists:

TAYLOR DIVISION CHAMPION - DERRICK TURNBOW

Like a fine poet, we'll leave the interpretation of this picture to the viewer's imagination. Is this just a metaphor? Or did Derrick Turnbow actually raise his leg, get a pained expression on his face, and leave a steaming pile of hippo shit on the mound? You decide.

BANDO DIVISION CHAMPION - BILL HALL

Once again, we have implored the viewer to interpret this image. For me, the car is kind of like the Brewers payroll and fans, having Hall's contract/existence forced upon us against our will.  Hall, on the other hand, is kind of like the guy dressed up like a woman that looks exactly like Hall and is putting his genitals in an automobile. Is the image legit or forgery? One thing is for certain -  his .293 on-base % and .396 slugging %, while being one of the highest paid third basemen in the league has left all of our tailpipes feeling violated. But, could we really make this picture up? You decide.

YOST DIVISION CHAMPION - ERIC GAGNE

Perhaps Gagne was just distracted by the birth of his son this year. He did pitch much better after his wife gave birth on August 29th (4 runs in 12.1 innings as opposed to the 24 fucking runs in just 34 innings he provided earlier in the season).

LOPES DIVISION CHAMPION - JEFF SUPPAN

Oh, hi kids! It's your old friend Scooter! I'm a Shitty 84 Mile Per Hour Fastball, sometimes called a Batting Practice Fastball. Here's how I work. Once I leave the pitcher's hand, I go reeeaaaaaaal slooooooooooooowwww. I keep hitters off balance by coming towards the plate incredibly straight, and I always avoid crossing the corners of the plate or crossing the plate too high or too low. I'm an especially popular pitch selection by pitchers in junior varsity high school baseball, the Land O' Lakes Baseball League, and by the Milwaukee Brewers' fifth starter! I get along particularly well with Jimmy Rollins and Pat Burrell!

Like last year, we are going to do this in round robin format. Everyone left will face off against everyone else one time. If there's a tie, we go to the head-to-head results between the two players that are tied. If they're still tied, we go to the usual "state your hate" tiebreaker.

Matchups:

Turnbow v. Hall

Turnbow v. Gagne

Turnbow v. Suppan

Hall v. Gagne

Hall v. Suppan

Gagne v. Suppan

Vote once for each matchup. Hate on and thanks for another great season, folks!

Pack Back on Track

A Rod and company get a much deserved week off after Peyton's two touchdown passes to Packers defenders, and, more importantly, after the Colts gave up over 100 yards in penalties at Lambeau...sounds a certain Packers football team has learned well from a certain condescending blogger.

Meanwhile, Brett Favre sits in New York disappointed, eagerly awaiting his check from the Detroit Lions having remembered better trips to Oakland.

Steve is in Germany, so you'll just have to put up with the sexiest picture of A Rod on the internet and some Packers love from the greatest rapper alive.

2008 Hate-Off: The Excrement Eight

Taylor Division

1. Turnbow* vs. 2. Dillon

Bando Division

1. Hall* vs. 3. Kendall (*)

Shost Division

2. Nix* vs. 5. Gagne

Lopes Division

5. Riske vs. 6. Suppan

This is the last round of bracket voting. Also remember that hatred spewed during the voting will be taken into consideration in the event of a hate-off (I'm looking at you, Bando Division).

It's Our Season

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSEt4zZmshc

Tampa Bay Rays, son, what!

Picture Courtesy of Stevewoodardrules.

*Condescendy has edited post to add picture from Steve*

Sveum Out as Brewers Manager

I think I speak for all of us when I say thank Allah. I honestly thought that Sveum would get another year because the Brewers made the playoffs. After replacing Red Yost in September, Sveum talked about playing more small ball and said things so stupid that even Yost wouldn't say them. He wasn't a good player and didn't show a single think to me managerially. The Brewers can now find a manager that may actually be a progressive thinker and set a calm tone for the streaky Brewers players, though I don't expect the Brewers to actually find any manager like that.

Discuss the managerial search. Ken Macha? Don Money?

It's Come to This. And That's Why You Don't Say You "Like Kendall":

Sorry Mr. Meiz, this was filed as of 4:15 this afternoon. You will be served by mail.

Click HERE to view language of complaint

Thanks to $lash for doing most of the brainwork and Old Hoss Radbourn for contributing and taking the wheel on this matter from here on out.

This proves to all you readers that we will stand up and protect you against harassing comments.

2008 Hate-off: Sewer Sixteen

Taylor Division:

1. Turnbow* vs. 4. Nelson

2. Dillon vs. 3. Counsell

Bando Division:

1. Hall vs. 4. Jackson

2. Iribarren vs. 3. Kendall

Shost Division:

1. Tavarez vs. 5. Gagne*

2. Nix vs. 3. Salome

Lopes Division:

1. Gwynn vs. 5. Riske*

7. Hart vs. 6. Suppan*

* - denotes unanimous selection in previous round.

And for the love of St. Christopher, vote in the postseason awards below.

Seahawks?!?!?!

The Pack went to Seattle to face the whippingboyhawks

with the bitter taste of defeat by a different bird team last week

fresh in their mouths.

Jeremy Thompson made his first of hopefully many starts at DE and looked full sized and promising

Mark Holmgren was his rednosed, constipated/walrus looking self
The D contained the seattles running attack while 3rd string "quarterback" Frye almost shit himself.......almost?

But probably the best news from the game was Arron Rogers survived and with another gutty performance led the Pack to victory. Best Celebration Ever
This was a nice win for the Pack, they have a tough game this week but at least they should have some confidence coming into the game against Indy this week. Talk about the seahawk beatdown and the coming weeks game here.

2008 Hate-Off, Round of 32 assholes

Do we have a better name for this round? I hope not. After one of the most lopsided rounds in history (next to last year's excrement eight), we are ready to proceed to the rest of the team. Happy hating.

Taylor Division

1. Turnbow vs. 8. Shouse
2. Dillon vs. 7. Durham
3. Counsell vs. 11. Fielder
4. Nelson vs. 5. Escobar

Bando Division

1. Hall vs. 8. Weeks

Side note - that's a fuckin shame

2. Irribaren vs. 7. Stetter
3. Kendall vs. 6. Rivera
4. Jackson vs. 5. Gamel

Yost Division

1. Tavarez vs. 9. Torres
2. Nix vs. 7. Mota
3. Salome vs. 6. Coffey
4. Rotino vs. 5. Gagne

Lopes Division
1. Gwynn, Jr. vs. 9. Villanueva
2. Dillard vs. 7. Hart
3. Lamb vs. 6. Suppan
4. Gross vs. 5. Riske

Congratulations to all of the shitty baseball players that have made it this far, and good luck to all of our voters. As always, don't forget to vote in the end of season awards.

Corey Hart makes a last ditch effort to spare himself from the Hendy

Nice try, Hart. We all know you blow just as much as Mr. Hall.

Remember to vote in the Postseason awards and the Hendy play in matchups

2008 Third Annual Hendy Awards - Play-in matchups

Without further ado, here are the Hendies. We have 44 contestants this year, which means we will have 12 play-in matchups, giving the top 20 seeds byes. Here are the matchups:

DEAN TAYLOR DIVISION
(11) Prince Fielder
(6) Mark DiFelice

(10) J.J. Hardy
(7) Ray Durham

(9) Gabe Kapler
(8) Brian Shouse

SAL BANDO DIVISION
(11) Ryan Braun
(6) Mike Rivera

(10) Dave Bush
(7) Mitch Stetter

(9) Manny Parra
(8) Rickie Weeks

NED YOST DIVISION
(11) CC Sabathia
(6) Todd Coffey

(10) Mike Cameron
(7) Guillermo Mota

(9) Saloman Torres
(8) Russell Branyan

DAVEY LOPES DIVISION
(11) Ben Sheets
(6) Jeff Suppan

(10) Seth McClung
(7) Corey Hart

(9) Carlos Villanueva
(8) Yovani Gallardo

As always, the rankings are based in reverse order of VORP (value over replacement player). We don't set these up as we think they should be, which is why Sheets and Suppan face off so early. We will close off voting in a couple days and post the final-32 immediately after voting ends.

Make sure to vote for the postseason awards, as well, below.

Hate away!

4th Annual BCS postseason awards

While October is typically a time most known for hate-fucking the Brewers (more to come on this front), BCS has also traditionally voted on players that actually played baseball well over the course of the season (and some that played just as poorly as the Brewers). As we have in the past, we'll vote for seven categories in each league. We'll keep voting open during the Hendies, or until it looks like everybody has voted. Condescendy, if you wouldn't mind, please link this to your hate-off posts as they will otherwise be lost down the page. The categories:

Most Outstanding Player (The Pujols)
Most Outstanding Pitcher (The Walter Johnson)
Rookie of the Year
Executive of the Year (The Beane)
Least Outstanding Player (The Vizquel)
Least Outstanding Pitcher (The Lima)
Not-Executive of the Year (The Sabean)

The 2008 Brewers

Let's start with congratulating the Brewers on making the playoffs for the first time in 26 years, getting the proverbial monkey off their back and the not-so-proverbial Johnnie the Monkey off the team. We had some memorable moments this weekend enjoying the playoff games, including:

And who can forget this one:

Special thanks to Tommy for the below picture and, of course, our Los Angeles Dodgers for making this glorious weekend possible.

Now let's end this like-fest. It's time for the Hendies!!! That's right folks, it's award season and everyone's favorite awards are back. For a quick run down of the rules, wikipedia "hendy awards." Ok, it's not really up there yet...but give it time. Brackets will be posted this evening. Until then, get your brains churning and make sure to get on the horn with all those fair-weather bloggers who come around here but once a year.

I see that no sportswriter in America has picked the Brewers to beat the Phillies . . .

Forgetting about this masked man, are we?

I figured we needed a separate thread for this series. Be sure to post your postseason predictions below. Brew City Sports officially picks the Brewers to win in 3 games due to the erstwhile mentioned caped hero.