The Top Five

5. I swing at 36,000 first pitches a day.




4. And the BCS award for most time spend drawing a phallus goes to . . .




3. Hey shitheads, suck on my plus fastball and developing slider and change.




2. Jolly




1. You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

Best Pictures of the first three years: 6-10

10. This picture is representative of what makes the artwork around here so very special. Creativity trumps execution ten times out of ten.


9. Isn't an increased head size an indicator of HGH use?


8. Leadership.

I bet GW wouldn't put up with Brett Favre's bullshit, either.


7. Please notice that the artist chose to accentuate Favre's wankin arm, not that which he uses to throw a football


6. But this one's not funny! Indeed it's not, but it's certainly an important piece of BCS lore.

Best Pictures of the first three years: 11-15

15. Pasty white kid with shiteating grin poses alongside black local celebrity with an obvious learning disability.




14. Local black celebrity with shiteating grin poses alongside pasty white kid with an obvious learning disability.




13.




12. If only Mench's father had demonstrated such foresight.




11. Guest artist Lee Elia dabbles in neo-meteorological expressionism.

I have a late submission for the best images...

"There are nights when I think that Sal Paradise was right...Craig Finn and Mark Attanasio sure look a lot alike"

Southern League All-Star Game photo diary

On Monday, July 14th, I attended the Southern League All-Star Game in Zebulon, NC, the first Midsummer Classic I've been to that hasn't ended in a tie.

Although only a 20-minute drive east of Raleigh, Zebulon is as rural as its name suggests. Legend has it that sort of state legislation or agreement forbids a second professional baseball team from locating in the Triangle (the name for the Raleigh-Durham metro area) to prevent competition with the Bulls. Hence the Carolina Mudcats, the Marlins' AA affiliate, play just on the metropolitan fringe.


Five County Stadium

You know which exit to take off of Highway 264 to get to Five County Stadium; it's the one with the huge baseball water tower looming over it.



It was good to see all six Huntsville players contribute to the game. Alcides Escobar, batting in the 2 position, promptly hit an RBI single in the first, scoring Carolina's John Raynor, and scored later in the inning on a passed ball. Escobar played the whole game, going 2 for 4 and scoring another run on Chris Coghlan's 3-run HR. He also made a few dazzling defensive plays at short, showing good range and a strong arm.


Escobar takes second on the throw home on his RBI single in the 1st


Escobar batting in the 5th

Angel Salome started at catcher and hit fifth. He went 0-for-1 with a walk, and was replaced by West Tennessee's Adam Moore in the 5th inning.


Angel Salome at the plate in the 1st

Cole Gillespie started in left and batted 8th. He had singles in his first two at bats, going 2-for-4 for the night.


Cole Gillespie batting in the 2nd

Michael Brantley gets the best sub award. He pinch hit for Raynor in the 5th and promptly lined a single off of the Suns' Jesus Castillo. Escobar followed with his second single of the game, and they both scored on Coghlan's 3-run HR. Brantley also singled in the 6th, going 2 for 2 on the night.


Brantley and Escobar score on Chris Coghlan's HR in the 5th

On the mound, David Welch pitched a scoreless 3rd and Patrick Ryan pitched a scoreless 7th to represent the Stars' pitchers. The South (the away team) only managed 1 run on 5 hits. Ben Jukich got the win for the North and received the pitcher of the game award despite only throwing 5 pitches in the 1st inning. Coghlan got the MVP, much to the delight of the Mudcats' fans.

One player of note on the South was Birmingham's Miguel Negron, first round draft pick in 2000 by the Blue Jays. He's now nearing 26 but the White Sox are still giving him a try. He was 0 for 2 with a GIDP.

The game had some classic minor league shenanigans, too:


Birdzerk break dancing with the home plate ump


Reggy playing dead at the first base coach's box

Scoring an All-Star Game is a worthy challenge. Having to find room on the sheet for the South's nine pitchers felt like it would have felt like if anyone had cared enough to keep score in the Jerry Royster days.


The pitchers spill into the catchers list, then into the extra batters list

Best Pictures of the first three years: 16-20

20. Bubfather (to Bub, and completely innocently): 'Do you know who Mike Cameron looks like? Seal.' Hilarious irony aside, this may win the blog award for 'Best Effort in a 'People who look like people' Picture'.

Also, Seal and Mike Cameron look like my dad.




19. LIFM sports his new threads on Opening Day




18. LIFM cheers on the Red Sox




17. I'm pretty sure the Brewers upgraded this to the 'Rowengartner' model in early June.




16. JD Roth underestimates Ryan Grant and the Green Bay offense. Dumbass.

Brewers vs Cubs

I don't have to tell you this is one of the biggest series of the year,

good thing the Brewers have their Buddy Cop/Leathal Weapons combo going in the series

Talk about the series here

Best pictures of the first three years: 21-25

In honor of the blog's birthday and Cubs week, I decided to compile a list of what the blog does best: high-brow artwork. Although I discussed several pictures with you this weekend, some of these should be surprises, and all should be hilarious. I tried this a few days ago, and my browser broke after I uploaded 22 of the 25, so I'm doing them five at a time instead. Enjoy

25. The picture that launched a thousand morons - BCS's very first picture was, naturally, a people who look like people post.

24. A few entries are not original photos. This would be one. To the best of my knowledge, this is either a Marlins game or the WNBA Finals.



23. The historic underachievement and over-inflated sense of self worth makes it burn more. Well, that or the starch.


22. Why do I think this guy would be a suspect regardless?

21. Better than BJ dad, I suppose.

Go Marlins!

Mazel Tov

Hi, I'm Milwaukee Brewers' left fielder Ryan Brown. I just wanted to take a moment to wish Brew City Sports a happy third birthday. Brew City Bub is thanking me for my endorsement by promising not to digitally remaster this picture. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must turn my attention to the third base coach. I could have sworn I just saw a 'bunt' sign.

Brewers Acquire Leadership for Prospects

Durham is seriously declining, but at least he'll be able to hit RHP better than Weeks.

THE ACE OF SPADES!!!! THE ACE OF SPADES!!!! and oh yea Brewers vs Giants

CC is not just an Ace for the Crew

He is THE ACE OF SPADES!!!

THE ACE OF SPADES!!!!

I know it was against the Giants but CC gave the Giants no chance to win that game It gets me excited too see CC and his partner every 5-6 days.

It is like a great buddy cop movie only its baseball so everyone wins(except the cubs)

Too bad this movie is only good for one year

Talk about the post all-star break Brewers and the series against the Giants here

Encouraging Condy, Part II

You guys said you had Bill Hall pictures, so let's see them.

In the meantime, guess who yahoo sports thinks is currently the hottest player in fantasy baseball. But seriously, how did this guy not make the All-Star game this year? I mean I know he hasn't had any pink bat home runs this year, but c'mon...

Hendicapping the Handies

It's officially upon us - the most boring sports day of the year. In order to maintain my sanity, I'd like to briefly discuss the most exciting part of the BrewCitySports year: The Hendies. Borne from the disappointment and frustration from yet another failed Brewers season in 2006, The Hendies have been a staple of the Brew City Sports baseball offseason. This season is shaping up better than most for the Brewers, but we can't forget the catastrophe that was the second half of 2007. Nor should we assume that the contributors of BrewCitySports are content with every Brewer that has been a part of the 25 man roster so far. Far from it, in fact. Below, I've listed my best guess at selected players' odds of winning this years most coveted offseason award.

1. Bill Hall - 8:5. Will Hall become the first offensive player to win the award? On previous Brewers teams Hall may face more competition, but the combination of his massive underachievement, protected status among casual fans, perception of privilege in the clubhouse, and standing as Condescendy's most hated player in history make him the odds on favorite in 08.

2. Derrick Turnbow - 2:1 2007 Hendy winner put on a strong performance in defense of his title this season. However, the Brewers didn't quite view things the same way, demoting Turnbow to AAA after just 6.1 innings. From what I understand, he's been rather effective in Nashville.

3. Eric Gagne - 2:1. You think you can hide on the DL and make us forget about how much we hate you? Think again, Frenchie. Tough to tell right now whether your 7.33 ERA or your eight-figure contract will be your ultimate undoing. No matter the reason, chances are good your good name will get knocked around as much as your pedestrian fastball this offseason.

4. Guillermo Mota - 7:2. Chances are the lead you inherit within your voting division will be tougher to blow than all those leads you've blown this year. Mota would be even with the other two if I were convinced he'd remain on roster long enough to remain in the memories of voters.

5. Dave Bush - 8:1. Guaranteed to get $lash's vote in every single round. That must count for something.

6. Rickie Weeks - 10:1. Were it not for your massive potential, you'd have a massive lead in the voting.

7a. Prince Fielder - 20:1. You're fat, you couldn't field a kickball, you're a malcontent, and you injured Yovani Gallardo.

7b. Ryan Braun - 20:1. Or, roughly, his strikeout-to-walk ratio.

9. Ben Sheets - 25:1. Don't pretend like he's not going to get injured for the entirety of August and most of September.

...

33. Sexy Gabe - 300:1. I don't know what pleases the blog more: your mature approach at the plate, or your photo spreads in mature magazines.

34. Seth McHung - 500:1. If for no other reason than providing fodder for OHR's post last week.

35. Russell Branyan - 10,000:1. Really just a teaser bet in case Kevin from the office reads the blog. Thanks for not being Bill Hall, Russ.

Ben Sheets to Start in Tuesday's All-Star Game

The one inning of work on his scheduled day in the rotation will likely put an overbearing physical burden on him and will undoubtedly cause him to injure himself sometime in the near future, just wait.

Also, tonight's whitey Home Run Derby should be a doozy.

Brett Favre asks for his unconditional release from the Packers

Brett Favre asks for his unconditional release from the Packers

I didn't think anything on earth could be worse than Brett Favre retiring, but . . . goddamn.

Link

Hey Shitheads, Don't Forget About Me and My 3.28 Road ERA

Who wants to be one-upped?