Brewers Ink Abe "The Babe" Nunez, Rest of NL forfeits 2008
The Milwaukee Brewers sealed their 2008 campaign with an NL pennant this Monday, as the NL GMs held a joint press conference to concede the NL championship to the Brewers following their blockbuster signing of Abraham Nunez, most recently of the Philadelphia Phillies.
"I mean, what the fuck are we supposed to do, sign some sort of Abe Nunez clone that we've been developing from the DNA procured from a hairbrush he discarded in the Shea Stadium clubhouse in 1992?" asked Mets GM Omar Minaya Monday afternoon. "It's not like that's even feasible. Besides, he'd only be like 16. I mean, we locked up Endy Chavez last week, but he's no Abrham Nunez. Come the fuck on! We might as well just sit this one out, and let Abe and Brewers represent the NL in this year's fall classic."
Minaya's sentiments were echoed by Cubs GM Jim Hendry Monday afternoon. "With Nuney expected to start every game at thirdstop this year for the Crew and bat both third and fourth every game, it's like, what the fuck is the point? We don't need to contribute to his record breaking season. Point taken, Brewers, you win!".
Fans on popular fan site brewfan.net seem just as excited about the move. Frequent poster Brewerfan82's comments are a typical example: (Monday, Jan 28 2008) Brewerfan82: "With 3rd and Short locked up for '08, I could see the Crew making a move for A-Rod."
Many fans echoed concerns about wasted tickets and empty summer nights, but other fans have already resigned to the fact that the Brewers would have gone 162-0 regardless of the decision this afternoon. Baseball fan Nick M. of Milwaukee, WI seemed excited about the news. "If it means I don't have to watch the Brewers until the World Series, I'm on board. I can't stand the Brewers, even with Abe Nunez."
Labels: Esoteric Hyperbole