Hendicapping the Handies
It's officially upon us - the most boring sports day of the year. In order to maintain my sanity, I'd like to briefly discuss the most exciting part of the BrewCitySports year: The Hendies. Borne from the disappointment and frustration from yet another failed Brewers season in 2006, The Hendies have been a staple of the Brew City Sports baseball offseason. This season is shaping up better than most for the Brewers, but we can't forget the catastrophe that was the second half of 2007. Nor should we assume that the contributors of BrewCitySports are content with every Brewer that has been a part of the 25 man roster so far. Far from it, in fact. Below, I've listed my best guess at selected players' odds of winning this years most coveted offseason award.
1. Bill Hall - 8:5. Will Hall become the first offensive player to win the award? On previous Brewers teams Hall may face more competition, but the combination of his massive underachievement, protected status among casual fans, perception of privilege in the clubhouse, and standing as Condescendy's most hated player in history make him the odds on favorite in 08.
2. Derrick Turnbow - 2:1 2007 Hendy winner put on a strong performance in defense of his title this season. However, the Brewers didn't quite view things the same way, demoting Turnbow to AAA after just 6.1 innings. From what I understand, he's been rather effective in Nashville.
3. Eric Gagne - 2:1. You think you can hide on the DL and make us forget about how much we hate you? Think again, Frenchie. Tough to tell right now whether your 7.33 ERA or your eight-figure contract will be your ultimate undoing. No matter the reason, chances are good your good name will get knocked around as much as your pedestrian fastball this offseason.
4. Guillermo Mota - 7:2. Chances are the lead you inherit within your voting division will be tougher to blow than all those leads you've blown this year. Mota would be even with the other two if I were convinced he'd remain on roster long enough to remain in the memories of voters.
5. Dave Bush - 8:1. Guaranteed to get $lash's vote in every single round. That must count for something.
6. Rickie Weeks - 10:1. Were it not for your massive potential, you'd have a massive lead in the voting.
7a. Prince Fielder - 20:1. You're fat, you couldn't field a kickball, you're a malcontent, and you injured Yovani Gallardo.
7b. Ryan Braun - 20:1. Or, roughly, his strikeout-to-walk ratio.
9. Ben Sheets - 25:1. Don't pretend like he's not going to get injured for the entirety of August and most of September.
33. Sexy Gabe - 300:1. I don't know what pleases the blog more: your mature approach at the plate, or your photo spreads in mature magazines.
34. Seth McHung - 500:1. If for no other reason than providing fodder for OHR's post last week.
35. Russell Branyan - 10,000:1. Really just a teaser bet in case Kevin from the office reads the blog. Thanks for not being Bill Hall, Russ.