Put 'er in the old vice!

And by vice, I don't mean 'Brett's Hand', rather the crushingly miniscule space remaining in the universe as Favre's testes perpetually enlarge. Here's to you, #4!

Brewers offseason needs

Alright gang, it's officially the offseason hot stove season, and the Brewers are about to make some noise. I don't see them going all 2004 Yankees (sign Sheffield, trade Soriano for A-Rod, spend billions) but they've got some work to do. Here's the roster of players signed or under control for next season:

C. Estrada ($3.4m in 07); Rivera ($400k); Munson ($4ook)
1B Fielder ($400k)
2B Weeks ($675K); Dillon ($400K)
3B Braun ($400K)
SS Hardy (Arb Eligible, around $3 million); Counsell ($2.8M)
OF Hart ($400K); Gross ($400K); Hall ($2much ($4.8 Mil)); Mench (Arb Eligible, around $3.5 mil); Gwynn ($400K)
SP Sheets ($11M)
SP Suppan ($8M)
SP Gallardo ($400K)
SP Villanueva ($400K)
SP Capuano (Arb Eligible, around $3.5M)
RP Bush (Arb Eligible, around $2.5M)
RP Turnbow ($3.2M)
RP Manny Parra ($400K)
RP Matt Wise (Arb Eligible, around $1M)
RP Seth McClung (Arb Eligible, around $1M)
RP Brian Shouse (Arb Eligible, around $1.5M)
RP Claudio Vargas (Arb Eligible, around $3.5M)

07 Salaries coming off the books:
Cordero ($5.4M)
Graffanino ($3.4M)
Linebrink ($1.75M)
King ($850K)
Miller ($2.25M)
Jenkins ($7M)
Total: $20.5M

07-08 Salary bumps:
Estrada (~$600K)
Hardy (~$2.5M)
Suppan ($1M)
Turnbow ($800K)
Sheets ($1M)
Hall ($1.3M)
Capuano ($250K)
Vargas ($1M)
Bush ($2M)
Wise ($negligible)
Shouse ($5ooK)
Mench ($1M)
Weeks ($250K)
Total $12.2 Mil

Potential traded/released contracts:
Turnbow ($3.4M)
Wise ($1M)
Vargas ($3.5M)
Hall ($4.8M)
Mench ($4M)
McClung ($1M)
Total $17.8M

Positions of need
3B (I know, this ain't gonna happen)
LF
RP (3)
UTIL?

So, the Brewers have anywhere between $8 million and $25 million to play around with from last year's budget, but this doesn't take into account the massive revenue streams from increased gate receipts and merchandise sales this season. So, who should the Brewers look at? Here is a list of all potential free agents.

Names that jump out at me:
1. 3B Russell Branyan
2. Bobby Abreu (No way the Yankees pick up his $17M option)
3. Barry Bonds
4. Milton Bradley
5. Francisco Cordero
6. Octavio Dotel (likely to pick up player option)
7. Scott Eyre
8. Eric Gagne (B)
9. Jose Guillen
10. Trot Nixon
11. Chris Reitsma
12. Al Reyes
13. David Riske
14. Matt Stairs
15. Julian Tavarez (B)
16. Brad Wilkerson (B)
17. Kerry Wood
18. Esteban Yan
19. Byun Hyung Kim (B)

Players I see Milwaukee targeting in trades:
Adam Dunn
Rocco Baldelli
Pat Burrell
JD Drew
Joe Crede
Morgan Ensberg
Brad Lidge/Chad Qualls
Jon Rauch/Chad Cordero
Damaso Marte

If you have any more names to add, feel free to edit this post. So, how does all this stack up? My guess is that Milwaukee is only looking for a stopgap in left field, so my best guess there is Brad Wilkerson or Matt Stairs, though Pat Burrell's massive expiring contract may be a legitimate option, especially give Philly's need for bullpen help (adios Turnbow and Wise). Relief pitching may be acquired via whichever 07 starter gets the boot, and will also likely be sought in free agency. Here are my baseless projections:

Turnbow, Wise, and Mench for Burrell and minor league LHP
SP (Vargas or Bush) for RP from Houston, Washington, or Texas
Resign Cordero or (yikes) Linebrink
Sign additional RP like Tavarez, Yan, or Kim

Thoughts? Additions? Am I stark raving mad?

Do you think he stole that taco from Jose Hernandez?

Halloween costume idea

If anyone is still looking for a Halloween costume, you could go as a baseball player.

This one's for LIFM

Projection Champions and BCS Award Winners

At the beginning of the season, $lash, Condescendy and BCB took part in a record and standings projection contest. Given the rules outlined, Condy and I split the championship (he won the records skins and I won the standings skins). Given that the winner receives a Handy (that's no typo) from me, I'll defer to overall record difference as the tie breaker, where I won 152-172 over Condescendy. Unless, of course, you'd like me to warm you up sometime, C.

In an improbable clean sweep, I won the postseason projections as well as the only contributor to actually predict a World Series participant. Granted, Condescendy used a phone book (?) to make his picks, but somebody's buying me a g-d PBR.

Finally, and most importantly, we have our Post-season award winners. We had five people vote this year, which may be an all time high. Without further ado, your winners (unanimous winners are bolded)

AL MOP
Alex Rodriguez

NL MOP
Hanley Ramirez

AL Walter Johnson
CC Sabathia

NL Walter Johnson
Jake Peavey

AL ROY
Dustin Pedroia

NL ROY
Ryan Braun

AL GMOTY
Mark Shapiro (CLE)

NL GMOTY
Dan O'Dowd (COL)

AL Omar Vizquel
Nick Punto

NL Omar Vizquel
Omar Vizquel (HOF)

AL Jose Lima
Jeff Weaver

NL Jose Lima
Adam Eaton

AL Brian Sabean
Kenny Williams (CHW)

NL Brian Sabean
Brian Sabean (SFG)

From the Mouth of the Monkey

Johnny Estrada doesn't need anyone to tell him how poorly he played in his first year as the Milwaukee Brewers' starting catcher, particularly behind the plate.

"I was pathetic," Estrada said bluntly.

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=676689

The real reason the Packers lost to the Bears...

"I'm shotgunning beers when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel sober too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
...of looking at that girl in the stripped shirt"

Bye week blues?

The Pack is off to a great start

we have had some good coaching and Ted has put together a promising roster

we also have a new verb

Farve has shown that he can still play,

broke almost all the major passing records,

and continued to build chemistry with his wide outs

The Pack is 5-1 with only the Lions looking like any sort of threat in the North

The D has been very good, except against tight ends

The Offense has been explosive with only the lack of a consistant running game being a problem

but I have confidence the coaching staff will address these concerns as the season rolls on

I would say any Packer or Packer fan would be happy with this start of the season

Except for one.............

Talk about last weeks game and any other Packer related issues here

And The 2007 Hendy Goes To....

Thank you to everyone who participated in this year's Hendy Award voting. You've done your 2007 Milwaukee Brewers proud. There is no better expression of your love for the Brewers then to express your hatred of those who once again ruined another season. If a player is bad, his performance should not be accepted. We here at Brew City Sports, unlike most so-called "fans," have separated ourselves from the pack as intelligent baseball analysts/cynics by condemning those who do not belong on out beloved team.

More than anyone, Derrick Turnbow earned the honor of most loathed Brewer this season. His performance was simply unacceptable. Congratulations Derrick, you have earned this honor.

Consolations go to Johnny the Monkey Estrada for his runner-up performance. As he did all year, he came up lame at the end.

Though they finished third and fourth, respectively, Matt Wise and Billy "Sexcrime" Hall deserve credit for overcoming the odds they had at the beginning of the season and finishing strong. We will not soon forget your performances, gentlemen.

Thank you once again to all those who participated. We will see you all on Opening Day 2008.

2007 Hate-Off - FECES FOUR

Outlined against a blue-gray October sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. These are only aliases. Their real names are: Wise, Turnbow, Hall, and Estrada. Many entered. Several sucked. However, many knew from the beginning that none held a candle to the fuckwads that remain. Each clearly cost the Brewers the playoffs, and, as OldHoss pointed out, at least three will be back next season. Now is your opportunity to express your displeasure with these dipshits. The Feces Four will be conducted a little different from the Fuckshow Four last year. In an attempt to do all matchups justice, we will hold a ROUND ROBIN playoff between all four Memebers. Your Vote will be conducted in three Classes. Please be sure you vote for all three classes, and express as much vitriol as possible.

Class A:
2. Derrick Turnbow vs. 6. Matt Wise
6. Bill Hall vs. 7. Johnny Estrada

Class B:
2. Derrick Turnbow vs. 6. Bill Hall
6. Matt Wise vs. 7. Johnny Estrada

Class C
2. Derrick Turnbow vs. 7. Johnny Estrada
6. Matt Wise vs. 6. Bill Hall

In Dusty We Trust

Reds sign Dusty Baker to a three year contract as manager of baseball team, not food services.

On behalf of Brew City Sports, I laugh.

Okay, that link didn't really talk about the hiring, but it certainly is a worthy read. Have fun getting rid of him, Reds.

2007 Hate-Off - The Excrement Eight - ALL DIVISIONS

Some tournaments term the eight most qualified competitors 'elite'. We liken ours to colorectal waste. Let's face it, they fucking deserve it. Usingers and massively underachieving baseball players: It's just not summer without 'em.

The Franklin Division

9. Ben Sheets vs. 6. Bill Hall

The Kinney Division

5. Kevin Mench vs. 7. Johnny 'The Monkey' Estrada

The Bando Division

4. Chris 'Spalding' Spurling vs. 2. Derrick Turnbow

The Taylor Division

1. Craig Counsell vs. 6. Matt Wise

2007 Hate-Off Sewer Sixteen ALL DIVISIONS

I think I speak for all BCS contributors when I say that you've all shown tremendous hate for the Brewers thus far. We encourage you to continue your lack of support by voting in the Sewer Sixteen.

The Franklin Division

9. Ben Sheets vs. 4. Gabe Gross
6. Bill Hall vs. 2. Seth McClung

The Kinney Division

1. Grant Balfour vs. 5. Kevin Mench
3. Greg Aquino vs. 7. Johnny 'The Monkey' Estrada

The Bando Division

1. Elmer Dessens vs. 4. Chris 'Spalding' Spurling
6. Chris Capuano vs. 2. Derrick Turnbow

The Taylor Division

1. Craig Counsell vs. 4. Mitch Stetter
6. Matt Wise vs. 7. Geoff Jenkins


Special congratulations are in order for Greg Aquino, Johnny Estrada, and Chris 'Spalding' Spurling, not only for incomparable ineptitude, but also for cleanly sweeping the first round voting. Good work, douchebags.

2007 Hate-Off - FRANKLIN DIVISION - Round 1

I figured I might as well just post all Round 1 matchups today, so here goes:

9. Ben Sheets vs. 1. Laynce Nix

5. Mike Rivera vs. 4. Gabe Gross

6. Bill Hall vs. 3. Mel Stocker

2. Seth McClung vs. 7. Claudio Vargas

New Postseason Endorsements

Cubs Lose! Cubs Lose!!

With the evil that is the chicago cubs eliminated from the postseason in what was truly one of the most memorable and amazing series in postseason history, Brew City Sports is now ready to announce its endorsement of the double play and of the Cleveland Indians to win the World Series. Go Indians, and thank you, double play ground ball!

(In case you can't read that sign, it says:

"Airfare $150 (presumably from Iowa or Kenosha)

Hotel $188

Tickets $300

Watching this pathetic excuse for a franchise spend $350,000,000, becoming a fan of this team in August 2007, acting like an asshole and watching this team choke yet again, losing 3 straight to a bad baseball team PRICELESS ")

**BrewCityBub adds**

2007 Hate-Off - KINNEY DIVISION - Round 1

The Matchups:

9. Dick Weeks vs. 1. Grant Balfour

5. Kevin Mench vs. 4. Jose Capellan

6. Joseph Wonderboy Dillon vs. 3. Greg Aquino

2. Damian Miller vs. 7. Johnny Estrada

2007 Hate-Off - BANDO DIVISION - Round 1

The Matchups:

8. Brian's House vs. 1. Elmer Dessens

5. Scott Linebrink vs. 4. Chris "Spalding" Spurling

6. Chris "Papuano" Capuano vs. 3. Vinny "the WOP" Rotino - good luck Vinny, ha.

2. Tony "Chris Gwynn's Nephew" Gwynn Jr. vs. 7. Derrick "Derrelick my Balls" Turnbow

2007 Hate-Off - TAYLOR DIVISION - Round 1

The image wouldn't expand, so you'll have to click on the smaller picture each round to see the bracket.

Here are the Matchups:

9. Suppan vs. 1. Counsell
5. Parra vs. 4. Stetter
6. Wise vs. 3. King
7. Jenkins vs. 2. Graffanino

Is it too early to start planning for opening day?

$273 for three days

4 - 0 in the Metrodome

Hey Der!!!! The Pack is 4-0

His Farveness is now the touchdown king,

Vick is probally going to jail,

and the Bears QB situation is still woefull

I didn't really get to watch the game this week but talk about it here!!

Let the Hate-Off Begin!

Alright folks, it's that time of year again!

This year's Brewers team was easily the most frustrating and infuriating team we've had a chance to see in Milwaukee probably ever. With that in mind, I have great expectations that the always theraputic hate-off will be even better than last year. For those new to the blog, last year was the inaugural hate-off, dubbed The Hendy Awards after last year's runaway champion Ben Hendrickson. While this year's field lacks the power punch of Ben Hendrickson, it completely makes up for that with probably the most deep field of truly terrible contestants you will ever see. Unlike 2006, there is no clear favorite this year. This should be very interesting.

Here are the rules:

• One of us will post the hate matchups for each head-to-head battle.
• We vote over approximately two days in the comment section of each thread.
• The player with the more votes in each matchup wins.
• If there is a tie, we go to a one-day tiebreaker, where each voter voices the reasons why we should hate one player more than the other. The voter with the most compelling and usually most blunt and vulgar argument in favor of their player will win the tiebreaker.
• For your vote to count, you must either state your name in your post or sign on as your name. Anonymous votes will not count, as there is no way of telling whether someone voted twice.

I have all the matchups set up based on VORP as of September 29th. The "best" "players" based on VORP are ranked highest. The worst "players" are ranked lowest as the favorite seeds. I will edit this post later to include links to the "seatings" for the four divisions, the Kinney Division, Franklin Division, Bando Division and Taylor Division.

Because the Brewers employed 40 baseball triers this season, there are 10 individuals in each division. Hence, there will be two play-in games in each division to get the remaining 32 contestants that we desire. The winner of the first round matchups will move to the Sewer Sixteen. Those winners move to the Excrement Eight, and the winners there move to the Feces Four, where the stakes are raised and pictures usually are used to make points. We are considering round-robin play in the Feces Four to determine the Hendy Winner.

Without further ado, here are your Play-in matchups:

TAYLOR DIVISION:

10. P.Fielder v. 7. G. Jenkins
8. D. Bush v. 9. J. Suppan

BANDO DIVISION:

9. J. Hardy v. 8. B. Shouse
10. R. Braun v. 7. D. Turnbow

KINNEY DIVISION

9. R. Weeks v. 8. F. Cordero
10. C. Hart v. 7. J. Estrada

FRANKLIN DIVISION

9. B. Sheets v. 8. C. Villanueva
10. Y. Gallardo v. 7. C. Vargas

Hate away!

Official 2007 Postseason Projections and Awards Thread

For the third year running, Brew City Sports will open up voting for postseason awards to its contributors. We vote on Seven categories in each league:

Most Oustanding Player
Least Outstanting Player
Rookie of the Year
Walt Johnson
Jose Lima
GM of the Year
Not-GM of the year

For those voting, please pick your first, second, and third choices. We will assign 5, 3, and 1 point accordingly.

Secondly, we also hold a postseason projection contest. pick the winners of each series just like in an NCAA tournament bracket. You get points for every correct pick, and a PBR 40 oz. if you are more correct than anybody else. I will edit this post to reflect the NL postseason once the game ends tonight. Finally, the Brew City Sports contributors would like to announce our endorsements for this season: the Indians in the AL, and the Phillies, the Diamondbacks, the Padres, and the Rockies in the NL.

ALDS
Yankees vs. Indians
Angels vs. Red Sox

NLDS
Rockies vs. Phillies
Cubs vs. Diamondbacks